Her Story Our Story Part 2

Our Story: Part 2

Dear Diary,

It’s Sunday, grey, wet and the sun has refused to smile at me. I stand here, I see her smile no more, only stillness and peace written all over her face. She’s dressed all white and I in black. As I looked to the sky, the Sun peeps through finally smiling down at that spot, 6 ft under. Now I know the Angels must be watching over her.

You might be wondering who I am, I am a 10 year old boy somewhere in this misplaced world. But wait don’t go I’ll tell you Our Story.

Yes she is my mum and I guess you are wondering why I’m standing here by a burial site dressed in black.

It all began when I was 5. I had always known my mum as the happy type always smiling at everyone she meets, going to prayer meetings while my father was the Sunday school teacher. You see that’s what my parents would like the outside world to believe but within the four corners of our home a storm was brewing. Times without number I recounted the story my mum would tell myself and Peju about how she met my dad at church while trying to encourage us that when we get older the church would be the best place to find all the answers to the questions in the world.

You see as my dad was the Sunday school teacher, he was also a notorious drunk and a cheat. Once, he came back home by 2 am and my mum had been waiting for him all day while his dinner ran cold. She had innocently asked where he had been when she got a huge slap on her face as a response. By morning her face was bruised and I asked if she was ok, she replied, “Sweetie mummy and daddy only had a minor argument and nothing more”.

Months and years went by and the slaps turned into punches which turned into kicks which turned into death threats by, yes my dad. My mum did the usual, “fast and pray” and “bind the devil thing” during these critical periods. On one occasion according to my older sister Peju, mum had gone to report the incidence to my paternal relatives but you see all they told her was, “You are a married woman, you just have to learn to bear the burden and he’s your husband so you must respect his decisions” and GBAM!! There it was the sign within their voices that there was nothing they could do. Mum began to lose weight overtime due to so much suffering.

On this very final day my mum couldn’t take it any longer, with me in hand she marched right to the Pastor’s office to seek for advice. She reminded the Pastor, “Pastor were you not the one who told me this man was spirit filled before I married him, ehn”, and Pastor stared at her in shock. Pastor got up and did the entire ‘bind the devil and cast out strange women thing” and just assured her that everything had been solved. I remember clearly it was just a few days after my 10^th birthday. This prayer I guess was so intense it lasted for 4 hrs.

Upon arriving home at 10.30 pm, Peju met us at the gate crying because my dad had whipped her mercilessly with his famous brown belt. As mum stepped in, dad demanded where she had been the entire evening and if she was cheating on him. I was shocked this woman had been about the business of trying to resolve their ever disappearing marriage and all he could do was accuse her. Next thing I know he pushed her right into the concrete wall where she hit her head and was immediately rendered unconscious. Peju and I ran out crying out to the neighbours for help and before we knew it she was rushed to the hospital and on getting there she was pronounced “DEAD” by the doctor in charge.

My mum who was there a few hours ago was now gone forever. I pushed past the doctors and went to hold her cold hands and whispered, “at least you are now in a happier and peaceful place”.

Dad had fled while Peju and I were taken to an orphanage as we had nowhere else to go. I often ask Peju who do we blame for mum’s death, is it Pastor for not thoroughly checking into dad’s level of spirituality and personal life outside church or dad for being such an abrasive drunk?

Either way mum is now gone and that motherly love and charm can never be retrieved.

Before I go, here’s a poem I found I believe all women and men as well should read:

Fool by Love by Erica Richards

She comes home battered and bruised She’s down and out confused How could a person she had loved Take her delicate heart to misuse He constantly said "you're the one for me" And she had fell too deeply to see The thoughtless monster He would soon turn out to be You'd think one more hospital visit would do it No more punches, no more hits But she comes home to the same old man One more lousy drink, one more door slam She’s blinded by the bitter bliss But how could you love a person that does this She finally threatens to leave and get wise He said he'll change, just another one of his lies He said his anger problem will go away And he pleads for her to stay But why she stayed, no one knows This abusive life is what she had chose

“You see that’s our story”

END.

Writer’s Note: It never fails to amaze me every time I find that even in this 21^st century a lot of Christian women are still victims of this form of abuse by their husbands who claim to love them with all their hearts. One thing to note within this story is that the 3 main parties involved (excluding the child) are at fault.

 First the woman for not waiting patiently to hear from God while giving AGE as an excuse as to why she had to marry the man, next the Pastor for not fully investigating the level of SPIRITUAL MATURITY of the man (worker in the church) and yes it’s true a lot of Pastor’s these days fail to do this while giving excuses of how active the worker is within the church as a justification for their way of life outside the church (Remember “all that glitters is not gold”) and finally the man who probably took Ephesians 5 vs 22 ~“Wives SUBMIT to your husband” by its literal or cultural meaning “Wives your husband is your head and whatever he says is word and you have no opinion”  rather than dig deeper to understand that spiritually it means “Wives honor, respect and love your husband as you love yourself while aiding him to achieve his goal as the head of the family”.

Gen 2:20 clearly states that a woman is the “help meet” of a man while vs 22 goes to justify to that she is one and the same flesh as her husband, so in other words for the husband to truly gain respect, love and honor from his wife, he must treat her with the same love and respect he seeks.

Divorce is a topic for another day!!!!!

My advice to young people out there is just SIMPLE!! : “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and ALL other things shall be added unto you”~Matthew 6:33.

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