Our Story: Part 2
Dear
Diary,
It’s
Sunday, grey, wet and the sun has refused to smile at me. I stand here, I see her
smile no more, only stillness and peace written all over her face. She’s
dressed all white and I in black. As I looked to the sky, the Sun peeps through
finally smiling down at that spot, 6 ft under. Now I know the Angels must be
watching over her.
You might be wondering who I am, I am a 10 year old boy somewhere in this misplaced world. But wait don’t go I’ll tell you Our Story.
Yes
she is my mum and I guess you are wondering why I’m standing here by a burial
site dressed in black.
It
all began when I was 5. I had always known my mum as the happy type always
smiling at everyone she meets, going to prayer meetings while my father was the
Sunday school teacher. You see that’s what my parents would like the outside
world to believe but within the four corners of our home a storm was brewing.
Times without number I recounted the story my mum would tell myself and Peju
about how she met my dad at church while trying to encourage us that when we
get older the church would be the best place to find all the answers to the questions
in the world.
You
see as my dad was the Sunday school teacher, he was also a notorious drunk and
a cheat. Once, he came back home by 2 am and my mum had been waiting for him
all day while his dinner ran cold. She had innocently asked where he had been
when she got a huge slap on her face as a response. By morning her face was
bruised and I asked if she was ok, she replied, “Sweetie mummy and daddy only
had a minor argument and nothing more”.
Months
and years went by and the slaps turned into punches which turned into kicks
which turned into death threats by, yes my dad. My mum did the usual, “fast and
pray” and “bind the devil thing” during these critical periods. On one occasion
according to my older sister Peju, mum had gone to report the incidence to my
paternal relatives but you see all they told her was, “You are a married woman,
you just have to learn to bear the burden and he’s your husband so you must
respect his decisions” and GBAM!! There it was the sign within their voices
that there was nothing they could do. Mum began to lose weight overtime due to
so much suffering.
On
this very final day my mum couldn’t take it any longer, with me in hand she
marched right to the Pastor’s office to seek for advice. She reminded the
Pastor, “Pastor were you not the one who told me this man was spirit filled
before I married him, ehn”, and Pastor stared at her in shock. Pastor got up
and did the entire ‘bind the devil and cast out strange women thing” and just
assured her that everything had been solved. I remember clearly it was just a
few days after my 10th birthday. This prayer I guess was so intense
it lasted for 4 hrs.
Upon
arriving home at 10.30 pm, Peju met us at the gate crying because my dad had
whipped her mercilessly with his famous brown belt. As mum stepped in, dad
demanded where she had been the entire evening and if she was cheating on him.
I was shocked this woman had been about the business of trying to resolve their
ever disappearing marriage and all he could do was accuse her. Next thing I
know he pushed her right into the concrete wall where she hit her head and was
immediately rendered unconscious. Peju and I ran out crying out to the neighbours
for help and before we knew it she was rushed to the hospital and on getting
there she was pronounced “DEAD” by the doctor in charge.
My
mum who was there a few hours ago was now gone forever. I pushed past the
doctors and went to hold her cold hands and whispered, “at least you are now in
a happier and peaceful place”.
Dad
had fled while Peju and I were taken to an orphanage as we had nowhere else to
go. I often ask Peju who do we blame for mum’s death, is it Pastor for not
thoroughly checking into dad’s level of spirituality and personal life outside
church or dad for being such an abrasive drunk?
Either
way mum is now gone and that motherly love and charm can never be retrieved.
Before
I go, here’s a poem I found I believe all women and men as well should read:
Fool by Love
by Erica Richards |
 She comes
home battered and bruisedShe’s down and out confused How could a person she had loved Take her delicate heart to misuse He constantly said "you're the one for me" And she had fell too deeply to see The thoughtless monster He would soon turn out to be You'd think one more hospital visit would do it No more punches, no more hits But she comes home to the same old man One more lousy drink, one more door slam She’s blinded by the bitter bliss But how could you love a person that does this She finally threatens to leave and get wise He said he'll change, just another one of his lies He said his anger problem will go away And he pleads for her to stay But why she stayed, no one knows This abusive life is what she had chose |
“You
see that’s our story”
END.
Writer’s Note:
It never fails to amaze me every time I find that even in this 21st
century a lot of Christian women are still victims of this form of abuse by
their husbands who claim to love them with all their hearts. One thing to note
within this story is that the 3 main parties involved (excluding the child) are
at fault.
First the woman for not waiting patiently to
hear from God while giving AGE as an excuse as to why she had to marry the man,
next the Pastor for not fully investigating the level of SPIRITUAL MATURITY of
the man (worker in the church) and yes it’s true a lot of Pastor’s these days
fail to do this while giving excuses of how active the worker is within the
church as a justification for their way of life outside the church (Remember “all that glitters is not gold”) and
finally the man who probably took Ephesians 5 vs 22 ~“Wives SUBMIT to your
husband” by its literal or cultural meaning “Wives your husband is your head
and whatever he says is word and you have no opinion” rather than dig deeper to understand that spiritually
it means “Wives honor, respect and love your husband as you love yourself while
aiding him to achieve his goal as the head of the family”.
Gen
2:20 clearly states that a woman is the “help meet” of a man while vs 22 goes
to justify to that she is one and the same flesh as her husband, so in other
words for the husband to truly gain respect, love and honor from his wife, he
must treat her with the same love and respect he seeks.
Divorce
is a topic for another day!!!!!
My
advice to young people out there is just SIMPLE!!
: “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and ALL other things shall be added unto
you”~Matthew 6:33.
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