Top 10 tips a godly woman SHOULD know

Proverbs 31:10-31................

Hey ladies (most especially) and gents as well, here are 10 golden nuggets for the soul:

1.Be trustworthy.

2.Be safe.

3.Be a listener.

4.Don't be malicious – leave your past hurts and bitterness behind and stop making everyone who comes into your life pay for another’s foolish mistakes. In other words learn to FORGIVE.

5.Refuse to nag.- rather than complain about every single thing, try to be grateful, appreciative and thankful.

6.Be an encourager- behind every successful man is.....you know complete it.

7.Be vigilant- that means accept realities of life and work hard. All physical and spiritual battles are won on your knees in prayer.

8.Be confident, kind and speak wisdom- that means all forms of insecurities aint welcome. WARNING!!! No man likes a self loathing woman.

9.Strive for integrity – in all you do mean what you say, say what you mean and do exactly as you have proposed.

10.Be cheerful and optimistic – REMEMBER, a happy woman makes a happy man and eventually a happy home.

Hope this meets you well.

@beinspired4u

“Woman, thou art loosed” – Bishop T.D Jakes

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RiSiNg OuT oF tHe FlAmEs

If you've ever been in a romantic relationship with someone you really care about, only for it to come to an abrupt sudden end, then you can relate to what I'm about to say.

Watching something you've worked on and invested in for a significant length of time in your life goes up in flames can be as dramatic as it sounds. Rising out of this whilst maintaining your sanity, your self-respect and most importantly becoming a better person as a result, is probably the most difficult part of it all.  Going through a break up will test what you’re made of and you need to have the ability to be strong and very resilient through it all. The experience will undoubtedly have an impact on how you see life and how you love again but the most important thing is to not let it change who you are.

Everyone will experience their break-ups differently because there could be a number of reasons why it happened in the first place. 

For this reason, everyone will deal with it differently but nevertheless, here are a 6 major points to help you come out of it a better person.

1)     Don’t blame yourself

Take this point with caution because in some cases, it only takes one person to ruin a good relationship. However in most cases, things just don’t work out for one reason or another.  A relationship involves two people, even though I may be contradicting myself here, the two of you will be equally to blame for its ending.  Blaming yourself (even if it was your fault) is a very unhealthy thing to do and can lead to depression. In the majority of cases, there will be other factors involved, no matter how minuscule or insignificant they may seem that would have played a part in the break up. Whether it was you who initiated the actual break-up or your partner, blaming yourself is never the answer.

2)    It's OK to be upset

Seems obvious but you’ll be surprised at how many people will put up a front and tell you they’re fine, just after a break-up. Lies! You can’t be fine after such an ordeal. After having invested significant time, effort and emotions into a relationship, it’s natural to be upset regardless of why it ended. It’s good and perfectly healthy to have a little cry and let it all out. Talk about it with a close friend over a box of chocolates if you have to. However, don’t make this a habit and continue to be upset. That is when it gets unhealthy. Mourning the end of something is part of what makes us human but then we BURY IT and MOVE ON.

3)    Have a honest reflection

This can be a very hard thing to do. One of the common things people do after such a traumatic event is to go into denial. You tell yourself all the things you want to hear and change the truth in your head about what really went wrong just so you can feel better. Again, this is natural but you can’t keep doing this. You have to then be honest with yourself as to what really happened and where it all went wrong. If you were to blame, accept it and learn from your mistakes. If it was a particular situation that led to the break up, examine what led to that and how you won’t repeat the same thing.  Only after doing this can you truly begin the ‘moving on’ process.

4)    Stay positive

It is common for people to go into a spiral of self-loathing after a break up. Just because someone who you regarded as the love of your life has just left you doesn't mean that you’re worthless and will never find love again. All it means is that they were not the right person for you otherwise, they would have stayed. Call me an optimist, but I like to think there is someone out there for everyone. You have to remain positive and know that one day, you’ll meet someone who will treat you a hundred times better and love you so much more than he/she ever did. Also, surround yourself with friends and family who care because they will be important in getting you through this.

5)    Keep your distance from your Ex

Again, this seems obvious but some people will still call their Ex’s, maybe hoping for a change of heart or some sort of re-connection. Whilst this is understandable, I STRONGLY advice against it. This will not help your moving on process and will only keep your mind pre-occupied with them and thinking about things that should be left in the past. I'm not saying you should not remain friends if you want to be but a good time apart to recover is necessary. Some of the things not to do include checking their Facebook profile every now and then, sending them text messages, and leaving missed calls e.t.c. These are all No Nos! You need to find yourself again and get back to a healthy mental state before engaging with them again.

And if such is the case that you never want to see or speak to them again, then that’s fine. However, let this be a rational decision that is made under a healthy mental state. Don’t harbour hate in your heart against your ex because you will only be punishing yourself and letting them have a hold over you. You need to set them free in your heart and have no regrets. This will give you peace of mind and allow you to look forward without holding on to the past.

6)    Have no regrets

Life is full of experiences; some good, some bad. We all make decisions that we feel is best at that particular time for one reason or another. Regardless of how sudden and bad the ending of a relationship is, there would have been some good times too during the course of the relationship. These are all experiences and they need to be viewed as just that. Don’t add any more meaning to them than what they were. Even if you think that night you both laid there on the grass looking at the moon, and you saw a shooting star go by and it was so special you were sure that your relationship was divine and written in the stars…blah blah blah… it was just an experience. You will have many more experiences and they will be even better than any you think you've already had.

Life in itself is beautiful and should be enjoyed and cherished. Regret only dampens the joy life brings and stops you from enjoying the beauty that surrounds you. To move forward and rise out of the flames of bad and traumatic experiences, you cannot have any regrets. Now go and be happy.

Written by and Belongs to: (c) Pelumi Olawale

Edited by: Beinspired4u

How To Become Who God Destined You To Be Part 1

Ever wondered why you never fully attain you potential in life? I see you have a direct answer right; you blame it on others, missed opportunities and all other forms of excuse in the book.

The answer to this question is that we need to take responsibility for our own failures but do not fear, cos the Holy Spirit really does enable us to maximize our strengths and minimize our weakness so that we can become that active person in the body of Christ.

So recently I've been reading and meditating on a particular eye-opening spiritual book titled: Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim Lahaye

You've really got to check it out. I'd give it a 5 star rating. Moving on before I lose track of how essential this topic is to you, well it blessed me so hopefully it blesses you too.

Yes be rest assured that our temperaments can either make or break us both physically and spiritually so read on.

According to the book, there are 4 basic temperaments which we all exhibit but some are more predominant in us than others and in reality we are a combination of at least two of these temperaments (I won't dwell too much on each temperament but will focus on 2 major ones:

1. Sanguine - they are warm, lively and fun loving, e.g. apostle Peter 

2. Choleric - hot tempered and active e.g. apostle Paul

3. Melancholy - perfectionist type, self sacrificing and anger e.g. Moses 

4. Phlegmatic - calm and easygoing e.g. Abraham

Let's use a MelChlor as an example and yes "I'm active but still find it hard to overcome anger". Remember it was because of Moses's anger (yes the Israelites rebelled and out of anger he destroyed the first stone tablets with the 10 commandments written on them) that He only saw the promise land from afar but never got to enter the place.....if you don't believe me check out Deuteronomy 1:37 -38.....Because of you the Lord became angry with me also and said, “You shall not enter it, either. But your assistant, Joshua son of Nun, will enter it.

The main reasons why we never fully attain our potentials are hidden within weaknesses of our temperament:

1. Strengths of a typical MelChlor: sensitive, perfectionist, self-sacrificing, strong-willed, leader and so on

2. Weaknesses: self-centered, pessimistic, hot tempered, moody, revengeful and impetuous.

A typical MelChlor can be very paranoid and think people are always talking about him/her and they have that proud "self-sufficient" attitude where they believe that "it's all by their might” that they have succeeded in everything they lay their hands upon without ever acknowledging the "Supremacy" of God.

They believe it's all about them and when things do go wrong they suddenly go into that "self-pity/depression mode" asking "why me?” 

MelChlors have to remember, In all things, give thanks....I Thessalonians 5:18.

This "self-centered" attitude makes MelChlors selfish and love others less because they spend too much time focusing on themselves alone. Note "LOVE" seems to be absent in most Christian churches today. 

When it comes to marriage they tend to have a difficult time taking the "fatal plunge" because they like to daydream or "idealize a potential" spouse but they soon recede because the weaknesses of the other person plays out to much for them, because yes MelChlors are very judgmental, they analyze and dissect unnecessary information/issue to a point where it no longer makes a valid point. 

It's only when truly filled with the Holy Spirit that a MelChlor fully achieves a level of spiritual boldness in Christ to become a very confident and active member of the body of Christ.

People with this particular blend of temperaments rarely live up to their amazing potential, because of their "internalized spirit of anger and revenge". They rarely forgive. For example there's no mistaking that Apostle Paul was a MelChlor, He initially sought to persecute all Christians even to the point of their death but upon being visited by Christ Himself, he became a fantastic, self-sacrificing preacher who worn so many souls to God and while being in prison was still able to preach the gospel.

So if you know that you are called to be a leader of a fellowship, head of a family and so on...you'll have to dig deeper with the help of the Holy Spirit in order for you to prevent division within your fellowship group and the breakup of your family.

Watch out for Part 2, Where I'll tell you how the Holy Spirit can help transform you no matter the circumstance or temperament and make you a BONAFIDE child of God...........

"Our Circumstances DO NOT Have To Determine Our Reactions" ~ Tim Lahaye.

Her Story Our Story Part 2

Our Story: Part 2

Dear Diary,

It’s Sunday, grey, wet and the sun has refused to smile at me. I stand here, I see her smile no more, only stillness and peace written all over her face. She’s dressed all white and I in black. As I looked to the sky, the Sun peeps through finally smiling down at that spot, 6 ft under. Now I know the Angels must be watching over her.

You might be wondering who I am, I am a 10 year old boy somewhere in this misplaced world. But wait don’t go I’ll tell you Our Story.

Yes she is my mum and I guess you are wondering why I’m standing here by a burial site dressed in black.

It all began when I was 5. I had always known my mum as the happy type always smiling at everyone she meets, going to prayer meetings while my father was the Sunday school teacher. You see that’s what my parents would like the outside world to believe but within the four corners of our home a storm was brewing. Times without number I recounted the story my mum would tell myself and Peju about how she met my dad at church while trying to encourage us that when we get older the church would be the best place to find all the answers to the questions in the world.

You see as my dad was the Sunday school teacher, he was also a notorious drunk and a cheat. Once, he came back home by 2 am and my mum had been waiting for him all day while his dinner ran cold. She had innocently asked where he had been when she got a huge slap on her face as a response. By morning her face was bruised and I asked if she was ok, she replied, “Sweetie mummy and daddy only had a minor argument and nothing more”.

Months and years went by and the slaps turned into punches which turned into kicks which turned into death threats by, yes my dad. My mum did the usual, “fast and pray” and “bind the devil thing” during these critical periods. On one occasion according to my older sister Peju, mum had gone to report the incidence to my paternal relatives but you see all they told her was, “You are a married woman, you just have to learn to bear the burden and he’s your husband so you must respect his decisions” and GBAM!! There it was the sign within their voices that there was nothing they could do. Mum began to lose weight overtime due to so much suffering.

On this very final day my mum couldn’t take it any longer, with me in hand she marched right to the Pastor’s office to seek for advice. She reminded the Pastor, “Pastor were you not the one who told me this man was spirit filled before I married him, ehn”, and Pastor stared at her in shock. Pastor got up and did the entire ‘bind the devil and cast out strange women thing” and just assured her that everything had been solved. I remember clearly it was just a few days after my 10^th birthday. This prayer I guess was so intense it lasted for 4 hrs.

Upon arriving home at 10.30 pm, Peju met us at the gate crying because my dad had whipped her mercilessly with his famous brown belt. As mum stepped in, dad demanded where she had been the entire evening and if she was cheating on him. I was shocked this woman had been about the business of trying to resolve their ever disappearing marriage and all he could do was accuse her. Next thing I know he pushed her right into the concrete wall where she hit her head and was immediately rendered unconscious. Peju and I ran out crying out to the neighbours for help and before we knew it she was rushed to the hospital and on getting there she was pronounced “DEAD” by the doctor in charge.

My mum who was there a few hours ago was now gone forever. I pushed past the doctors and went to hold her cold hands and whispered, “at least you are now in a happier and peaceful place”.

Dad had fled while Peju and I were taken to an orphanage as we had nowhere else to go. I often ask Peju who do we blame for mum’s death, is it Pastor for not thoroughly checking into dad’s level of spirituality and personal life outside church or dad for being such an abrasive drunk?

Either way mum is now gone and that motherly love and charm can never be retrieved.

Before I go, here’s a poem I found I believe all women and men as well should read:

Fool by Love by Erica Richards

She comes home battered and bruised She’s down and out confused How could a person she had loved Take her delicate heart to misuse He constantly said "you're the one for me" And she had fell too deeply to see The thoughtless monster He would soon turn out to be You'd think one more hospital visit would do it No more punches, no more hits But she comes home to the same old man One more lousy drink, one more door slam She’s blinded by the bitter bliss But how could you love a person that does this She finally threatens to leave and get wise He said he'll change, just another one of his lies He said his anger problem will go away And he pleads for her to stay But why she stayed, no one knows This abusive life is what she had chose

“You see that’s our story”

END.

Writer’s Note: It never fails to amaze me every time I find that even in this 21^st century a lot of Christian women are still victims of this form of abuse by their husbands who claim to love them with all their hearts. One thing to note within this story is that the 3 main parties involved (excluding the child) are at fault.

 First the woman for not waiting patiently to hear from God while giving AGE as an excuse as to why she had to marry the man, next the Pastor for not fully investigating the level of SPIRITUAL MATURITY of the man (worker in the church) and yes it’s true a lot of Pastor’s these days fail to do this while giving excuses of how active the worker is within the church as a justification for their way of life outside the church (Remember “all that glitters is not gold”) and finally the man who probably took Ephesians 5 vs 22 ~“Wives SUBMIT to your husband” by its literal or cultural meaning “Wives your husband is your head and whatever he says is word and you have no opinion”  rather than dig deeper to understand that spiritually it means “Wives honor, respect and love your husband as you love yourself while aiding him to achieve his goal as the head of the family”.

Gen 2:20 clearly states that a woman is the “help meet” of a man while vs 22 goes to justify to that she is one and the same flesh as her husband, so in other words for the husband to truly gain respect, love and honor from his wife, he must treat her with the same love and respect he seeks.

Divorce is a topic for another day!!!!!

My advice to young people out there is just SIMPLE!! : “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and ALL other things shall be added unto you”~Matthew 6:33.

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Your Smile

Hi guys yes i know it's been a very very long time and yes i'm working on it's not all cheesiness and love but here's a little thing i found dated 2009 when I began writing in notebooks but wanted to share it:

'Your smile caught my eye for the first time

Your words stuck to my soul like it would never go away for the first time

You are elegant, thoughtful, kind, meek….. I could go on and on but for the first time You are everything

For the first time I noticed Your eyes glimmered in the light

For the first time someone very dear had impact in my life

For the first time I had something of value to cherish and fight for

To me You are the most important person

To me You are amazing and beautiful if I’m permitted to say for the first time

For the first time I had someone who never judged me

You became a part of my life not for the first time only but forever'

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In Her Shoes

I keep pondering over these questions: does age, achievement and appearance really matter when it comes to choosing a partner / relationship?

Before I take you into the life of Jenny, I want you to remember these bible passages:

Psalm 37vs4..."delight thine self in the Lord and He shall give thee the heart desires of thine heart".

Matt 6vs8..."Be not ye therefore like unto them for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask Him".

Jennifer looked at herself in the mirror. She brushed her hair quickly and put it in a ponytail. She looked at herself again, quickly fixed her tie and put on her jacket. Jennifer dreaded Mondays, she knew she had a lot of clients to attend to. She will probably be back home very late. her mother would have to remind her that she is so into her job and not looking to settle. With that thought in her head, she quickly picked up her phone and checked it. Jacob called. She was expecting it. The guy loved hearing her say no to all his requests.‬

‪​‬‪
She grabbed her car keys, took one last look in the mirror and made her way downstairs. She greeted her mother and ran out the door before she could comment on her dressing. What is so wrong with a girl wearing a tie? Janelle Monae does it, nobody makes her feel bad about it.

As Jenny got into her office, the telephone suddenly rang. Hello she said, it was her childhood friend Amanda on the other end of the phone. Amanda had called to invite her for their college reunion. Jenny tried to pull out as she felt this would be one of the worse things that could happen to her. Amanda had sent the invite to her by post and now she really had no option but to attend the reunion.

On getting home at 11pm, her mother had been sitting in the living room awaiting her daughter's return. "Where on earth are you coming from at this time, young lady?" asked her mum. She only had to say "from work" to prevent her mum from prolonging the conversation. Straight up to bed she went, just as if things couldn't get any worse Jenny began to toss and turn in her bed. She wondered what the reunion would be like, would everyone have achieved their future goals by now?, oh and what about Amanda I haven't seen her in 10yrs and all of a sudden I have to attend this ridiculous reunion.

Early the next morning her mum came into her room: Jenny dear can I have a word.Jenny sat up in her bed and thought this is not going to be good.

Her mum began: jenny this invite came through the post for you and it's from Amanda, it's about your reunion and attached to it is a note from Amanda which I want you to read before I carry on.

After reading the note, her mum carried on: can you see what I mean by you are not getting any younger, c'mon look at you, you will be 30 next month and what do you have to show for it, Your friend has a manufacturing company, a husband and 3 kids and you have been stuck in one silly dead end job for the past 8yrs and always running after church, are you the only Christian in the world?, ehn when will you take heed to my advice and get married?.

Jenny thought this will not end at all.

She reminded her mother: mama you do remember that so called silly dead end job is something I love doing and God gave it to me, so as far as I'm concerned I prefer this life.

Why don't you quickly settle down with jacob before you turn 30 so you could attend the reunion with him? asked her mum.

Jenny only waved her off.

When you keep dressing like a man and live this your high handed life because you're an accountant, how do you expect men to find you attractive?, ehn, said her mum.

Jenny walked to the little cottage behind the house to have a quiet time, while there she suddenly remembered the conversation she had with her Pastor at one of the marriage seminars at church.

Jenny: Pastor, I'm almost 30 and yet to be married, do I have a problem?

Pastor: first you have to understand that your will and God's will are not the same. Pray for wisdom and strength to do the right thing and trust God's plan and timing for your life.

She suddenly remembered the words to a song (while I wait) by John Walker:

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You

While I'm waiting I will worship

While I'm waiting I will not faint

I'll be be running the race

Even while I wait

With this in mind, she got on her knees, surrendered herself to God's will and chose to attend the reunion with all honesty.

Always remember that you are never truly alone ( Heb 13vs5)

So whether you decide to live a single life or get married, just remember that you are wonderfully and fearfully made by God and you are beautiful in every way

"Trust God's plan for your life and pray and ask for the leading of the Holyspirit"

Inspired by I will wait for You a spoken piece by JANETTE..IKZ of P4CM ( Passion for Christ Ministries)

Images obtained from Google. The video below does not belong to me but is property of P4CM (Passion 4 Christ Ministry).